Kingsbury Town Football Club

KINGSBURY TOWN FOOTBALL CLUB

Formed just after World War II by Polish cement factory workers in the Kingsbury section of north London.

Colors:  Yellow and black

Owner:  Sir Frank Poleski: Owns Kingsbury Town Industries Worldwide and KTFC. Married to Margo, Lady Poleski

Oswald Poleski: KTFC Chairman. Cousin to Sir Frank.

Manager:  Giles Roberts (WALES) Eccentric, secretive. Called Boss.

Stadium:  Townsend Lane Stadium, NW London. A marvel of cement architecture. Every comfort, advanced security.

League: Tier 1, Premier

Goalkeeper                                                    

Brian Bathurst (goalkeeper, ENGLAND): Wife, Connie, school sweetheart. 3 children

Defenders                                                     

Fernando Garcia-Lopez (defender, SPAIN): plays with Mick in the back line

Darius Rutledge (Captain, ENGLAND): Mick Carr's best friend. Black, handsome. Drives a BMW Roadster and has an SUV. Dates Neve.

Michael 'Mick' Carr (defender, ENGLAND): six foot two and over fourteen stone; thick muscled frame;  big and burly, handsome, strong; very blue eyes, almost Cerulean; Kingsbury Jack-About-Town. Bad left knee. Engaged to Marie-Claire Wentworth. Father is Gordon, Aunt is Sue. Dog is Lacey.

Jason Edu (full-back, CAMEROON): plays with Mick in the back line. Young, silly

Middle (4)                                                          

Hugo Auchincloss (midfielder, left wing, #9-ENGLAND): Cold grey eyes, icy grey eyes. Age 29. Drives a Jaguar black XJ. Bad shoulder and groin muscle; prominent nose with bend near the bridge.

Pozny Gorlinski (midfielder, POLAND):  Polish, speaks very little English. Speaks schoolboy French with Hugo

Jean-George Mayotte (midfielder, #8-FRANCE)  Separated from wife. Speaks fluent English with charming French accent.

Lars van der Beek (midfielder, #11-NETHERLANDS): chronically lame. Backup is Dylan Rhea. Permanent replacement is Will Currie.

Will Currie (midfielder, ENGLAND): Midfielder found at Hensfield Tuesday, Hull area Non-League club. ‘That kid has eyes in the back of his head’. Exceptional eyesight and instincts. Comes in after Dylan Rhea retires.

Forwards                                                  

Marco Cantamessa (#10-ITALY): nagging groin injury, married

Samuel Nkomo (#14-ZIMBABWE): Discovered playing in a church league in Guatemala [David Ball notes: Culturally most improbable. He might have played in English-speaking Caribbean island, such as Jamaica, Barbados, Antigua, etc (could have been discovered by a Premier League player holidaying there)] Dates Kami

Substitutes                                                        

Dylan Rhea (midfield, ENGLAND): backup to Lars, doesn't gel with the team. Retires suddenly from KTFC in March after father dies, no explanation given. Played for KTFC for about 14 months. Came in during January transfer window, initially very promising for rest of season as replacement for Lars van der Beek, after that very unpredictable.

Cresbow

Nassir: defender

Pablo: dates Dee

Support                                                               

Duncan: team physiotherapist, 'physio'

Sheila: KTFC Customer service manager

Rufus: KTFC Team masseur

Phillip Trent: KTFC Intern from London School of Economics